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"I`m not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I`m not dumb. I also know I`m not blonde."

"I describe my look as a blend of mother goose, cinderella, and the local hooker!"

"It takes a lot of money to make a person look this cheap!"

"I like to buy clothes that are two sizes too small and then take them in a little."

"I have little feet because nothing grows in the shade."

"If you don`t like the road you`re walking, start paving another one."

"I had to get rich so I could afford to sing like I was poor again."

"There are plenty of charities for the homeless. Isn`t it time somebody helped the homely?"

"I don`t know if I`m supporting them, or they`re supporting me." (On her ample bosom)

(on the topic of her bust size) People always ask me if they`re mine. Yes, they are...all bought and paid for.

(alluding to her famous bust) If I build another park, it will probably be in Silicon Valley.

I was the first woman to burn my bra - it took the fire department four days to put it out.
I look just like the girl next door...if you happen to live next to an amusement park.

I`m not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I`m not dumb. I also know I`m not blonde.

I do have big tits. Always had `em-pushed `em up, whacked `em around. Why not make fun of `em? I`ve made a fortune with `em.

I hated school. Even to this day, when I see a school bus it`s just depressing to me. The poor little kids.

I hope people realise that there is a brain underneath the hair and a heart underneath the boobs.

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.

I modelled my looks on the town tramp.

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out.

I`m not going to limit myself just because people won`t accept the fact that I can do something else.

If you talk bad about country music, it`s like saying bad things about my momma. Them`s fightin` words.

Leave something good in every day.

My aunt in Knoxville would bring newspapers up, which we used for toilet paper. Before we used it, we`d look at the pictures.

My husband said `show me your boobs` and I had to pull up my skirt... so it was time to get them done!

My weaknesses have always been food and men - in that order.

People make jokes about my bosoms, why don`t they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It`s obvious I`ve got big ones and if people want to assume they`re not mine, then let them.

Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills.Storms make trees take deeper roots.

We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.